High Ground

By: Ellen Clark, MD

The hill I will die on.

Live and die,

Phases of life I wander in and out of.

We live,

They live,

They die,

We push on.

Up and down,

Transitioning to the next,

Hill,

Valley,

Cliff,

Trench.

Speaking and writing our thoughts,

Wondering if we are good enough,

Why we cannot be efficient,

Why we are doctors,

Why do we lose sight?

Though you and your words push me up,

Up to where you were placed on this hill,

Sitting in your hospital bed or examination table,

Dying.

And I open my eyes.

I am reminded,

Medicine is an art,

A piece rich with boundless knowledge, 

Blended with drive and doubt, 

Shaded with vulnerabilities,

Framed by windowless work rooms.

I carry upward and onward for you,

Despite the days full of death and flame,

When empathy is seemingly erased,

And purpose blurs,

I push on.

Reborn from the ashes,

Climbing out of the deep,

For them,

To live and to die,

On this hill.

Ellen is originally from North Carolina and has slowly moved west. She attended University of Colorado School of Medicine and went on to continue her training in internal medicine at Oregon Health and Science University. She grew up creating many works of art, including poetry, drawing, and paintings as well as minored in studio art while in college. Throughout medical school and residency, she has enjoyed combining her passions for the arts and medicine as well as hopes to continue to do so throughout her future career.